A few comments for family and friends who have shown interest in the situation regarding my son, Aidan, and his recent move to an assisted living facility:
I cannot tell you how many times I've started to write a blog post about Aidan and couldn't finish it. I did want to touch base with my family and friends who have knowledge of the situation and my be wondering how he and the rest of the family is doing. I have had many people lend a sympathetic ear and express empathy and concern. I have truly been touched by many of you. Just letting me know that you care is sometimes the greatest support.
I wish I knew exactly how Aidan is doing. He seems to be fine. I've seen no displays of sadness or confusion. He seems to be happy at the house and "normal". I have a lot of questions and no answers to his mental state. I visit him everyday, most days bringing the other kids with me. It always makes me sad to leave. It probably always will. Preston and Ella are always pleased to visit him and are making fast friends of the staff and the two other boys that live in the house with Aidan.
Yes, I have had bad days. Some very, very, bad days. But it is important to me that the kids don't see me fall apart, and I'm happy that so far, I've been able to keep it together. The thing I hear over and over from people is "this must have been such a hard decision for you". The truth is, it wasn't a hard decision. It was the only decision to make. We knew that Aidan could not be cared for the way he needed to be and there might be serious consequences if we continued to postpone the inevitable. We also knew that Aidan has much more opportunity for a full life now. We also knew that the other two kids were severely limited in their opportunities while we dealt with the overwhelming task of managing Aidan's behaviors.
I wanted to end this note with a few words about Aidan. I've never met anyone who spent some quality time with him and didn't fall in love with my son. There is something radiant and special about that sweet boy. I've had caretakers who confessed to me later that they were initially afraid and didn't know how to approach him, but were quickly disarmed and enamoured by the charming, inquisitive and loving child that Aidan is. Despite all his challenges, he is a brilliant and gifted child. He is always surprising people. If you have had the privilege, you know that you will never get tired of hearing his laugh. Aidan's laugh is like a drug you can't get enough of. Making him laugh has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Aidan likes to dance. I like to say he has my terrible taste in music. I remember the day I discovered he liked MC Hammer as I watched his head bob back and forth in the back seat of the car. Sometimes he will let me cuddle with him. That is the best!
I am happy for Aidan and his new opportunities and so hopeful for his future. I have in no way shape or form given up on finding solutions to Aidan's challenges. I am excited that he is getting to meet new people, go new places, and try out new experiences. Please know that I appreciate everyone who provided words of support or encouragement in these last few months.
